The Three Root Causes Of Anger

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The Three Root Causes Of Anger – Part – 1

Any time we sense irritation, frustration or anger emerging inside our consciousness, if we take a close look at it, we will notice we are fighting a war in our consciousness with one of these three: either with another person, most obviously or with the past or with our self.

We are at war with the past because our anger is always towards something that has already happened and looking at it we react emotionally which means we are trying to change it, which is impossible. Any scene that has taken place a year ago, a month ago or even a second ago cannot be changed. We may be completely convinced and we may believe we can. That’s because we hold this belief subconsciously. Somewhere and sometime in the past, we have picked up and absorbed the belief that the world and its circumstances should shape up exactly as we want.

When our internal desire of a certain type of circumstances is not fulfilled, or in other words something against this belief happens, our instant reaction is one of the various forms of anger and we tend to try and change the incidentthat has happened in a far-off past or a past that has just gone by. We keep replaying a revised incident, with words and actions that we would have liked and that suit our convenience and we also keep nullifying the actual incident or remain in a un-acceptance mode towards it. This is like fighting a war with the incident. We tend to do this inside our minds, repeatedly, even realizing somewhere deep within, that it is impossible.

– Message –

With the balance of love and discipline, energy can be saved while speaking. Expression: Throughout the day I find myself having to give explanations or corrections to so many people. When I do this I find that I have to spend a lot of words. In the process I tend to lose a lot of my energy and find myself tired.

Experience: In order to save my energy and to use fewer words I need to have the balance of love and discipline. Discipline will enable me to give the right directions while love will make my directions effective. So I find that just a few words would be enough to get my message across.

The Three Root Causes Of Anger – Part – 2

We are at a subtle war with another person when he/she has done something which we perceive or judge to be wrong and our anger is an attempt to change them or take revenge. This is the second belief (we had mentioned the first one in yesterday’s message) that is embedded very deeply in our consciousness that the world, including its entire people, should do exactly what we want them to, or what we think they should do. Perhaps we have not yet realized that it is impossible to control others and make them change. The lack of awareness and realization of this truth, which we will definitely realize at some point or the other, doesn’t let us become anger-free very easily. People will always make their own decisions and control their own actions, always. They can definitely be influenced, but they cannot be controlled. When our internal desire of a certain type of behavior from people is not fulfilled, or in other words something against the above belief happens, our instant reaction is one of resentment or irritation or frustration or hatred which are all forms of anger.

One of the most important attributes of a great soul is the ability to not have even a trace of desire for revenge inside and the ability to forgive someone who has supposedly wronged him in anyway. Don’t we all acknowledge that such an individual who has freed himself completely from all anger forms earns our and everyone else’s respect and deepest admiration, and we give him the medal of greatness inside our minds and even physically? So doesn’t that mean we intuitively know that this anger is an incorrect emotion and peace, good wishes and forgiveness are the correct ones, in harmony with the basic nature of the human spirit?

– Message –

Inner satisfaction brings creativity.

Expression: Quite often I find myself trying to keep pace with the things that I have always been doing. I seem to be caught up in the routine to the extent that I experience monotony. I then cannot think of any newness that I can bring in my life.

Experience: It is only with my inner satisfaction that can I bring creativity in my life. For this, while doing the routine jobs that I am involved in throughout the day, I need to make special effort to keep myself content with the things that are going on and also think of new ways of doing what I am already doing. Then I will never experience boredom in my life.

The Three Root Causes Of Anger – Part – 3

We are at war with our self when we fail to make the world do exactly what we want, or we believe we have let our self down. An e.g. of a war with one self is – Suppose you are standing in a queue waiting for your chance to arrive, only to discover an hour later, just when your chance is about to arrive, that the time for the counter to close has come and the counter has closed. You get upset, but with whom? Perhaps the person at the counter at first and may be with the other people in the queue and then with yourself, for not having found out the time of closing of the counter. There are two failures that make you uneasy here. First you failed to ask someone early enough, which would have saved you the hour time loss. Second, you failed to control your emotions of anger. Although you might not externally admit that you failed, inside you know. Because of these two failures, you then start to getangry with yourself. The thought pattern that goes inside your mind: to fail is to lose, to lose is to be sorrowful, to be sorrowful causes me to become angry, as you look for an external cause of your sadness which, in this case, is initially the person at the counter and the other people in the queue (who would have known the time of closing and could have told you). So you demonstrate to others your justified anger towards them. But deep inside you know it is you yourself that has made you sorrowful.

As the anger builds up inside you, again, after a while, you find someone else outside on whom you vent out your anger. You seem to feel better as a result, but it’s only temporary. The next time you become angry; interrupt the pattern of your anger by asking yourself two simple questions: Who are you fighting a war with? Answer: Yourself. Who is suffering the most due to the war? Answer: Yourself. And if your anger is directed at yourself for your own supposed failure then just tell yourself, “There is no such thing as failure, only a different result from the one that I expected and results are not going to be exactly as I want, expect or desire. That is a rule of the game of life.”

– Message –

To serve with the heart, with love is to guarantee success.

Expression: When I have to be of help to others, I sometimes find myself doing it with force. I don’t seem to be really interested in doing it but situations or people seem to be forcing me to do it. I then don’t enjoy what I do and also don’t find the benefit of it either to others or to myself.

Experience: I need to consciously make an effort to see what people are benefitting when I am helping them. With this conscious effort I am able to help others with love without feeling the heaviness of what I have to do. Thus I find my actions to be much more fruitful.

In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris

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Am I Creating Negative Karma – Guilt As An Indicator

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Am I Creating Negative Karma – Guilt As An Indicator – Part 1

At the heart of our consciousness, we have a conscience.Our conscience is essentially our basic awareness of truth. From a spiritual point of view, the truth of who we are as spiritual beings is core and eternal truth. If we consider ourselves to be anything other than soul or spirit then we will be thinking and acting against our conscience, against our truth, which is like going against the essence of spirit. We will feel something is not quite right. If one of the pistons in our car engine is out of sync with the others, the engine will sound slightly different from normal. We immediately have it fixed, because we know that if it continues it may destroy the engine. If we do something that is out of sync with the truth, the voice of our conscience speaks to us. But we tend to ignore or suppress it, especially if we are having a seemingly pleasurable experience – we then create the sanskars or habit of ignoring our own conscience. As a result we keep repeating the negative karma and the sanskars of the negative karma are deepened, further ignoring the voice of our conscience. It is a vicious cycle, to come out of which is extremely difficult.

Message

The one who is free from desire is the one who is able to maintain positivity. 

Projection: When I put forth my ideas to others I expect them to listen to me. My idea changes to desire and when it is not accepted I then tend to become irritated. And along with it also comes jealousy or dislike for the others and I find myself caught up in negativity.

Solution: I need to make sure that I share my ideas with others but at the same time I need to keep myself free from any selfish motive. When I put forth my idea in a detached way, I too will be open to learning and I will be able to accept any criticism or rejectance that comes my way. Thus I will be free from negativity.

Am I Creating Negative Karma – Guilt As An Indicator – Part 2

An angerholic (one who gets angry repeatedly) hears the internal voice telling him to stop creating mental unrest, harming his body, hurting others and being addicted to the habit and the hormones that get created inside the body due to the habit, but then ignores the voice or drowns it out. This only adds to the inner disharmony (peacelessness) already present and both self-respect and self-esteem are slowly reduced. Any action we do which springs from forgetfulness (body-consciousness) will trigger this inner, spiritual discomfort. Following the action, we might feel guilty for doing something we internally knew was wrong. Any form of guiltexcept the one that is caused by another person i.e. except the case when guilt is caused inside you because another person is emotionally blackmailing you, is the voice of our conscience calling to say that we are acting against the essence, something is out of sync. Our level of guilt acts like a thermometer (an indicator). It shows us when and to what extent we are not aligned to truth. If we learn to pay attention, listen closely to this inner discomfort and the message it conveys, we will also hear why and how to make corrections, so that we no longer create negative karma. 

Message

The one who fulfills promises with determination is the one who overcome all problems. 

Projection: When I see some weakness working within me I usually make a promise to myself with a lot of enthusiasm. But if I face even a little opposition or difficulty in fulfilling this promise, I tend to lose hope and usually give up trying altogether.

Solution: In order to bring about a change in me and fulfill my promise, I need to use the virtue of determination. Every time I find myself becoming careless in it, I need to remind myself strongly of the importance of the promise that I had made. Then I will be able to win over all the obstacles that come my way in bringing my thoughts and words to actions.

In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris

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