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Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Energy Exchanges – Part 1
A common term that we use in relationships is: ‘the following person manages to always ruffle my feathers’. There are always those one or two people in our lives, just being in the company of whom, makes us uncomfortable and they will almost all the time do something or we will perceive their doing something, in such a way, so as to irritate us. Instead of simply accommodating the other person’s nature, we find our self pinched by their nature and actions based on that nature repeatedly, although that may not be the intention of the other person at all at times. The effects of these negative feelings, in the form of reactions, created by us in return, would be limited if they were restricted to us and were to cause discomfort only to us, but what these feelings do is that they start a cycle of negative actions and reactions inside us, whereby such harmful feelings keep reaching the other person. On receiving this energy, the other person in turn starts perceiving us negatively and reacts or thinks about us in a similar way and an emotional cold war begins between us and the other person; negative thoughts, feelings, attitudes, words and actions are exchanged with each other from time to time and negative karmic accounts or bondages are created with the other person, which keep getting stronger and stronger. In such a scenario, even if we or the other person, from time to time, act or react in a positive way on a physical or non-physical level, that does little to break the negative bond and make the relationship positive, because a little bit of positive is accompanied by a lot of negative, and what it can do is only dilute the negative a little bit but not remove its effects completely.
So, how do we break this vicious cycle of negative energy exchange? We shall discuss some methods for that in the next few days’ messages.
– Message –
Instead of waiting for things to change, you create a stage that will help change things.
Checking: Check if you are using words like, ‘when things change for the better, I’ll change too… I am just waiting for the things to get better…’ If you are using such words, it means you are letting the situation control you.
Practice: Each day tell yourself, ‘I have full control of the situations around me. It is when I change that things around me will change too and I definitely have the power to change things around me.’
Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Energy Exchanges – Part 2
The foremost method to break the cycle of negative energy exchanges with another person is one of self-transformation.
The most basic level of self transformation is that I don’t react verbally to the other person with words. But, I mention the negative energy received from the other, in the physical forms of negative expressions, vision, words and actions, to others and create an atmosphere of negativity and also give birth to negative perceptions of the person in others’ minds. In such cases, damage occurs on a physical level and damage control has to be done later, which sometimes is too late to do, since relationships have already been harmed. This is because those who we pass on negative information to pass on the information received from us, to others and sometimes even to the person who seemingly harmed us in the first place.
The second and little deeper level of self transformation is where I not only don’t react but I don’t talk against the person to anyone, even to people who are close to me, but I continue to think negatively about the other person. In such cases, damage is reduced but still happens, unknowingly and invisibly, behind the curtains of physical eyes and ears, as my thoughts and emotions are not completely under my control and they are led to a direction, which is incorrect as per the basics of spiritual wisdom – sometimes willingly and sometimes I do not want them to be led there but they go in that direction unwillingly due to a lack of inner strength. These negative thoughts and emotions do reach the other person on a subtle level, harming relations with that person.
The third and deepest level of self transformation is where I develop the power to change the quality of my thoughts and feelings as well. I am emotionally empowered enough to remove the flaw (weakness) in my own character that was at the root of my reactions, so that what used to pinch me so much will not do so anymore. Also, relationships get protected by doing that, which is something each one of us desires. This is the power of accommodation and self-transformation in action, at its best and possesses the potential to stop negative energy exchanges with the other.
– Message –
Instead of contemplating on others, spend time in self-contemplation and you’ll find yourself progressing.
Checking: In all that you do throughout the day check how much time you are spending in thinking about others and what they are doing. Also check how much time you are being introspective and spending time with yourself.
Practice: When you find yourself blaming or criticizing others’ way of working, turn your thoughts towards yourself and change your thinking at that moment. The more you think about yourself, you will find yourself progressing.
Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Energy Exchanges – Part 3
A simple pro-active response in breaking the cycle of negative energy exchanges with another person is the deep inner realization that the other soul is at that point of time lacking in the treasures of peace and love, although the foundation for the realization should be a humble consciousness. Very often this realization is based on an egocentric consciousness, which instead of cooling the situation can serve to make it more volatile on a subtle level. So based on this realization is an inner reminder to the self of my duty at that point of time – serving the other soul with the infinite treasures of God’s love and peace, which I am an embodiment of.
So, pure donations at that time in the form of constructive positive and powerful thought vibrations for 5 minutes, once a day, at a fixed time, does the work of a soothing balm of love and peace for the other person. Through this method, your feelings of lightness, contentment and goodwill reach the other person, with whom you have a problem. By doing that, these positive feelings transmitted to the other person pave the way for a realization inside the other person, of the negative that exists inside him/her in the form of shortcomings and misdemeanors (incorrect actions) committed, if any. The realization serves as a motivator for change. Also coming into contact with the other person with a cheerful face and colouring the other person with your enthusiastic company, a company full of the feelings of sweetness, happiness and contentment brings about transformation in the other as our actions become teachers for the other and the other is humbled and is inspired to become likewise. Also donations in the form of humble and soft words, words that are numbered (few) but invaluable, help in bringing to an end the negative energy exchanges and winning the blessings and good wishes of the other as well as people connected with the situation.
– Message –
Become a true server and you’ll experience the instant practical fruit in the form of happiness.
Checking: At the end of each day, check what your feelings are. Check if you are experiencing happiness or not. Also check if you have been able to bring benefit to anyone throughout the day.
Practice: Each day remind yourself to bring benefit to as many as possible. When you do service in this way, you get the fruit of it in the form of instant happiness and also in the form of blessings from all for the future.
Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Energy Exchanges – Part 4
One of the root causes of negative energy exchanges between any two people is a clash of personalities or also called clash of sanskaras in spiritual parlance (language). This can happen between two people who are wrong or between two people, one of whom is right and the other is wrong and also not very uncommonly between two people who are both right in their own unique way. This happens simply because sometimes personalities of two people are correct, their ways of working are correct, their ways of thinking are correct but they differ. This clash of personalities causes irritation on both sides, which becomes dislike, which becomes anger, causing hurt on both sides. How does one correct this? An important method for this is the sacrifice of the ego. Very often the cause of negative energy exchanges between two people who are both right is subtle ego on both sides, which ends when one of them sacrifices his/her ego. It is often said that the one who sacrifices his/her ego, is worthy of receiving the garland of blessings in a gathering of people of varying personalities as he/she brings about harmony in relationships.
The one who sacrifices the ego is mature and humble enough to realize that the responsibility to bring to an end negative energy exchanges with a particular person lies with him. Such a person has a soft intellect and realizes the significance of moulding or adjusting himself as the situation demandsand how that can bring to an end the exchange. Such a person is like an ocean of good wishes. He will sacrifice his own interest, sacrifice the * I am right consciousness, sacrifice the * Things should be done the way I like consciousness and put the interest of the other first; he will renounce his own name and glorify the name of the other. Such a person will very commonly praise the other and his way of working as well as his personality either individually or in a gathering. Such a person becomes a teacher and friend for the person with whom he was exchanging negative vibes prior to that, becoming an instrument to bring to an end the negative exchange of energy.
– Message –
Understand the significance of your actions and you’ll find yourself performing only elevated actions.
Checking: When there is something to be done and you have to take a decision on which course of action you should follow, first check what the consequences of your actions would be to yourself and to others and then make your decision.
Practice: Tell yourself each day, ‘each and every action I perform is significant and what I do is going to effect all those around me. So I will perform only elevated actions.’
Breaking The Cycle Of Negative Energy Exchanges – Part 5
To conclude, we all know that every individual is inherently good. A little shade of the incorrect or improper personality exists inside each one, however light the shade is. We also know that this shade was not there originally in the soul but is an acquired one. And also the person with the shade does become aware of it in times of solitude and also is making an effort to remove it so that no discomfort or sorrow is caused to anyone because of it. Along with the negative shades every person possesses many positive personality traits which are their strengths. Now when we are having an exchange of negative energies with such a person, what does a spiritually sensible person do, look at those light shades of negativity which are coming into action at that time or focus on so many positive colours of the personality of the other, colours that we have seen or heard about from others many times in the past. Also, an accompanied realization that even I have my share of negative shades which I am working on erasing, makes this vision easy to practice.
Practiced consistently, this kind of positive vision accompanied by a deep hearted appreciation of the positive personality colours of the other person is mercy in action, which is a shade of pure soul-to-soul love. Such appreciation makes it easier for others to reflect on and see what they need to do to change. But the first impact of this appreciation is on me, in keeping me free of negative and waste internally. So appreciating the other’s strengths in my mind and emerging them in my consciousness at such a time is very important as this not only keeps my perception, which is susceptible to being influenced by the negative at that time, clean, but also reaches the other person on a vibrational level and he/she is inspired and empowered to bring those strengths into action, as a result playing his/her part to end the negative energy exchange. This is spirituality at its most magical. I’ll not only have removed a source of pain, which is the negative shade of the other’s personality in this case, which is coming into action; I’ll have grown spiritually as well.
– Message –
Become the ones who make efforts continuously and experience constant self-progress.
Checking: Check if there is any doubt within you whether you’ll succeed or not. If there is any such doubt it means that your effort is not continuous. Where there is constant effort you experience constant progress.
Practice: Each day remind yourself of at least one thing that you have achieved for the day. When you make a habit in this way, you will be able to notice and experience the fruit of the effort that you put in.
In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris
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